Have you ever noticed that when something is taboo, you want it even more? Let’s say you’ve decided to go on a diet and suddenly, everything you can’t have looks so appealing to you – like the German Chocolate Cake, the Cookies and Cream Hagen Daaz, Belgian Waffles with Whipped Cream and Strawberries. The more it is forbidden, the more you want it. It’s just human nature to want what we can’t have.
Well ladies, men are even more so that way with women. Biologically, men are the aggressor. Don’t ask me why, they were just born that way. They are hunters and we are nurturers. Let’s use the analogy of deer hunting. What happens when a man goes hunting for deer? It is human nature (and animal nature) to run from something that is chasing us. So the deer, sensing they are being chased, run. The hunters must then devise a strategy to lure the deer into a trap. The more of a challenge the deer has become for the hunter, the bigger the thrill when the deer is caught.
Let’s use that same analogy with men and women. Going on the premise that men are hunters and hence, love a challenge, then suffice it to say that if women play hard to get, it makes for a challenge. If you sleep with a guy too soon (unless all you wanted was sex to begin with), or if you let a man know you like him upfront, he has nothing to work for. The challenge is gone. It’s as if the deer (you) walked right into his path and said “Here I am, take me.” The thrill of the chase is gone.
Now, if you have sex with a guy too soon, you can still play by the Rules by acting nonchalantly towards him afterwards if you realize that you like him and want a relationship with him. By showing him that you are not needy after having great sex with him and that you aren’t calling him and chasing him, it will make him come to you. But it’s best not to have sex with a guy too soon if you want a genuine relationship with him. I’m only giving you this advice if you realize after sleeping with him that this is someone you really like and want to have a relationship with. All is not necessarily lost – just play hard to get after you’ve had sex with him. Most women get clingy and needy with men after they’ve had good sex. They want to know “what it means” or “where the relationship is going” after having sex with a man. It’s not going anywhere if you ask him or if you start calling him instead of letting him pursue you.
Act coy. No matter how much you like a guy, he should never know how much you like him – even if you are crazy about him! You can let him know in subtle ways that you like him – like when he calls, be pleasant and sound genuinely happy to hear from him. Say thank you and please when he does things for you. But never wear your heart on your sleeve. He should always be guessing whether or not you are really into him. You can show him you care, after he wants to be exclusive with you and/or proposes and marries you!
Another way that women take away the thrill of the chase is by being too available. Ladies, get a life! When you meet a man you like, that is exactly when you have to become the busiest. Men love to think they are getting the prom queen and the seemingly unattainable girl! So, what are some things you should do? Why of course, date other men! Why? Because if you like a particular guy, you don’t want to think about him 24/7. Dating other men will not only keep your mind off of Mr. Hottie, but it will also cushion the blow if he is not that into you and stops calling you because he found someone he liked better. Chemistry.com has tons of gorgeous well educated and professional businessmen.
Definitely take up a hobby. How about golf? Many women take up golf these days as a sport! Not only does it give you the exercise you need, but what a better way to meet hot guys with gorgeous tans? Ladies, what I’m trying to say is, don’t drop everything when you meet a man – especially one that you are crazy about! Don’t daydream about him all day long or talk about him constantly to your friends, as this will only create longing for him. You must control your mind. Your thoughts lead to action and if you obsess about a man, you will do something stupid like call him! Let him miss you and call you! Let him send you a bouquet of roses. Wouldn’t you feel special if suddenly he sent you a nice gift basket to your job? If he does these things of his own volition, you will indeed feel special. But if you call him to remind him you exist, you are most likely to feel empty. Lastly, it’s always best to book a vacation with your single girlfriends, this way you’re not around all the time and it will give him a chance to miss you. You can go swimming in the blue crisp clean waters, party at night, and sit on the white sandy beaches with your girlfriends sipping Margaritas!
Last but not least, trust this process. I know it’s hard, but the more you practice this behavior, the easier it gets! Until next week, remember, men love you more when you play by the Rules, than when you don’t.